I’m having trouble organizing my time this year to workouts.  I haven’t worked out a day since the holidays, and while I did start eating healthier, I also backtracked significantly in the recent days.   In the past, this may have a triggered a significant depressed reaction.  I’m much more focused and tense all at the same time.  I’m ready for a change and I’m unable to do anything about it.  Except work.  It will pay off eventually. 

Positive minded people are standing by me more and more.  I’m encouraged by the different kinds of people I’m meeting and looking more to spending more time with them.  I quit facebook because of the mediocrity.  Yet, now I’m befriending more success minded people that display status updates that inspire me.  I’m surrounding myself with people I care about, and care about me.  While it’s refreshing to be looked at under a new light, even if it’s the right light, still places current people (like Mister Hubster) in an uncategorized area of my life. 

Mister is basically nothing more than a casual roommate.  He still looks at me as the sick person riddled with depression- except he makes him out to be the ultimate victim.  I’ve taken responsibility so many times but we’ve never actually engaged in a real conversation to confront the damage we BOTH have done.  We’re getting better at small talk- but our relationship started so quickly, we’re still in negative territory in “catching up” to our better side of the relationship.

As I’m working on my new goals, I’m finding I’m connecting better with other people, people that see me for who I am (or how I feel) and people that have known me at my best. I feel energized just talking to the right people in my life.  Faith plays a big role in the connections I’m making with people.  I can’t help but feel that I’m in the right place at the right time. That I’m headed in the right direction….that I have a support system in  place  I’ve never had and look forward to a more fulfilling journey. 

I’m not looking for easy. I’m looking for support and love.  I’m lucky to be around some great people.  Not sure if Mister Hubster will ever be one to love me ever again, but it doesn’t both me either way.  Of course, there are the little comments here and there that can bring disappointment, but for the most part it’s to be expected.  And that’s a life I’m not willing to hold on to.  My best hope in life is that my new support system will be infectious enough to the people I’m close to. 

A great lesson I’ve taken to heart recently:  You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person or the right thing to the wrong person. 

I’m not wasting more time. The sacrifices (from “fun”) I’m taking now will allow me the funds and opportunity to invest more time in my family and those close to me, as well as invest into what I have to offer.  I have big dreams and for the first time in a long time, finding people to stand beside and dream along with me.  Priceless.

I had a great feeling about this year early on… but yesterday was the Chinese New Year.  Happy Year of the Water Dragon!

Expect this to be a very energetic year, filled with optimism, power and entrepreneurship. However, the year is of water dragon, which means that even the most powerful will give a patient hearing to the weaker, and will try to see through their point of view. Better alliances and decision will take places.

To peace and entrepreneurship.  :)  Amen.  :)