I’ve been much more accepting of my circumstances.  I have a peace about my future that I haven’t had in a long time.  I’m investing my time into a business that will provide a better opportunity for me and my family.  I’ve been waiting for the emotional support from Hubster and not taking the steps to improve my situation on my own.  It’s time for that to change.

I have, for the first time in a long time, the confidence to get myself out of my own pit.  If things don’t improve between Hubster and I, I’ll be ok.  I can’t attempt to put in effort into a marriage when I’m the only one who seems to want it to improve.  I can’t make someone love me.  I doubt the love will miraculously re-appear. Resentment overpowers love in our relationship. This overwhelms me.  I have no partner.  No one who has my interest in mind.  

I am beginning to believe I will live in more peace if I wasn’t around Hubster.  Just looking at him reminds me of how unloved I am.  How worthless I am to him.  In the past, this crippled me. The sadness turned to resentment turned to anger turned to anxiety. But I’m willing to let my image of myself override what he thinks of me.  Take care of my needs so I can be a better mom.  If Hubster wants to work things out- I will consider it to be a miracle.  I will welcome it, but I will not let it determine my self worth.