I want to say Murphy’s Law took the wheel today, but I don’t want to give it or anyone else credit before God.  I know that sounds cheesy, but as much as my plans went so completely wrong, I was very blessed with the time spent with family and with a good a friend at the end of the day.

I do believe I’m gaining strength in faith in seeing the growth of others during such difficult times.  People I wouldn’t expect to be where they are in their faith, are pleasantly surprising me.  Community is so important and I’m finding I’m clinging to those that have my best interest and challenge me.  People I can be honest with and still leave encouraged.  

Tonight we had a great time, not because what we did (because EVERYTHING we wanted to do- no joke- was unavailable) but because we had a great time to unload and truly encourage each other.  

Very few people in my life get what I’m going through- actually get the pressures of raising children and working (granted, my work is pretty low key- emotionally, its taking it toll).  Get the pressures of having faith that is truly tested (ripping a marriage apart). 

I’m praying more, trying to not let this world or any critical spirit, or any evil thing or person get in the way of the peace I deserve to have.  Friends can be a huge disappointment. Spouses can be a bigger disappointment (including me).  Church leaders.  Teachers. Mentors. In my world, even God has been a disappointment.  I’ve spent the majority of the past two years so broken- confused by the support system I had- a group of people that spent it’s time judging rather than being honest and encouraging me.  I’m spending less energy on those that can’t be a true friend, and making a larger effort to connect with the people in life that matter most to me.